Spoke to a nurse, i am not allowed out. Getting PRN 300mg Seroquel to try to sleep all day…might take some valium later as well. Dream of cutting and killing myself instead of actually doing it.
EDIT: scratch that. 100mg seroquel and valium in half an hour if i don’t feel any better.
Why the fuck does my body heal so quickly? It isn’t like these cuts were just scratches on my body. I fucking hate how quickly they are leaving me. I feel abandoned.
I am going to pole class at midday. Got a new arm tubiegrip and padding for the SI cuts, fairly certain i am about to have a period in the next few days…i haven’t had a period since about January so i guess my contraceptive pill is finally not enough to stop it from coming. Hopefully it’ll be a small period that won’t invoke horrible symptoms (dizziness, nausea, constant crying, shaking, stomach cramps, fatigue, inability to care for myself). Hopefully the pill will mean my period is smaller and shorter than it use to be.
I think it is a peacock of some sort? I made him this morning with the caterpillar i posted earlier. I am in the process of making an orange alien thing too.
“Hello my name is Jes”
“Helloooo Jes”
“And i am a cutter”
-a round of applause-
